'Voice of the Bobcats' resigned amidst sexual harassment investigation

[AZGrizFan]

If Amy was my sister she wouldn't have waited months before filing her report/complaint. :x

It took my wife YEARS before she could finally feel safe about coming forward with what her abuser did to her. She dropped out of school (was going to UM at the time). Only after the coward killed himself did she really even talk to me about what he did to her ( I met her about 3 years after they broke up for good)...Sure her friends all knew what was going on in High School and first year of college, but they would beat the hell out of him, and then tell her that "He had learned his lesson, and would never touch her again". After his death, these same people lashed out at her because she didn't go to his funeral, and called her heartless. She now speaks to large groups about what mental and physical violence is, and can do to someone....All I am saying is, we can't, and never should, judge someone for when they came forward...Instead, let's be happy that she is among the few that had the courage to do so.

Too bad, obviously, but your wife's situation was very different from the reporter's.

Yes, it was. But coming forward for any women is not the easiest thing to do.

Dude. Those two situations are like comparing apples and rhinos. Come on, man. What Amy went through was shitty and creepy. What your wife went through was criminal and violent (apparently) and psychologically damaging. Not even in the same universe (although this DID affect Amy to the point where she felt it necessary to quit her job and seek employment elsewhere, presumably due to the risk of continued contact with the dude).

 

[SACCAT66]

It took my wife YEARS before she could finally feel safe about coming forward with what her abuser did to her. She dropped out of school (was going to UM at the time). Only after the coward killed himself did she really even talk to me about what he did to her ( I met her about 3 years after they broke up for good)...Sure her friends all knew what was going on in High School and first year of college, but they would beat the hell out of him, and then tell her that "He had learned his lesson, and would never touch her again". After his death, these same people lashed out at her because she didn't go to his funeral, and called her heartless. She now speaks to large groups about what mental and physical violence is, and can do to someone....All I am saying is, we can't, and never should, judge someone for when they came forward...Instead, let's be happy that she is among the few that had the courage to do so.

Too bad, obviously, but your wife's situation was very different from the reporter's.

Yes, it was. But coming forward for any women is not the easiest thing to do.

Dude. Those two situations are like comparing apples and rhinos. Come on, man. What Amy went through was shitty and creepy. What your wife went through was criminal and violent (apparently) and psychologically damaging. Not even in the same universe (although this DID affect Amy to the point where she felt it necessary to quit her job and seek employment elsewhere, presumably due to the risk of continued contact with the dude).

You are correct, they are different. But who are we to say "Why didn't she report it". That is the main point I was trying to get to...what my wife went through when she was younger was terrible, but to this day, people still ask even her "Why didn't you say more at the time" it just isn't that easy...

 

[grizindabox]

So many asshats.... :roll:

 

[PlayerRep]

Too bad, obviously, but your wife's situation was very different from the reporter's.

Yes, it was. But coming forward for any women is not the easiest thing to do.

Dude. Those two situations are like comparing apples and rhinos. Come on, man. What Amy went through was shitty and creepy. What your wife went through was criminal and violent (apparently) and psychologically damaging. Not even in the same universe (although this DID affect Amy to the point where she felt it necessary to quit her job and seek employment elsewhere, presumably due to the risk of continued contact with the dude).

You are correct, they are different. But who are we to say "Why didn't she report it". That is the main point I was trying to get to...what my wife went through when she was younger was terrible, but to this day, people still ask even her "Why didn't you say more at the time" it just isn't that easy...

No one is saying that things like this are easy, but it's a free country and I see no reason that people, and including posters on a message board, can't ask basis questions. I just don't see why certain things should be off limit for questions. And certainly believed that an accused has every right to ask questions.

 

[Griz2k]

This is the part I don't understand....

“The assaults and harassment are why I decided to pursue a new opportunity and leave Montana,” Just said. “I was prepared to leave the journalism industry altogether had I not found another job.”

This guy was obviously in the wrong and a huge dipshit, but why would she have to leave the state and possibly journalism all together? She did a fine job covering the Griz, but I never got the sense she liked being in Missoula anyway. Regardless, no one should have to endure what she did.

This thread is why she had to leave Montana. I read this when it was only one page and thought to myself, "Where are the anti-Hauck, anti-eGriz people now? They should see all of these regular posters standing up for this woman against the creeper. Why do they paint eGrizzers and Griz Nation as a bunch of victim-blamers and mysogynists when so many are good guys with an obvious sense of right from wrong?"

Today, I roll my eyes. Sure, not all of the evidence is exposed and there are two sides...yada yada. But, anyone with a hint of common sense can read those texts and understand the scenario. NO....men don't need to be afraid to compliment women. No...it's not unusual or suspect that Amie gave the guy her number. I've given my number to a multitude of contacts, male and female, for many reasons. Creepy is creepy. We all know it. We know when we are on the receiving end of it, and a "creeper" knows when they are doing it.

So, you have a creeper touching your ass, giving you looks, sending you texts and otherwise has you in his "sights" as a potential sexual conquest and won't take no or unending hints. Do you ignore it? Most of us HAVE ignored it time after time after time. Do you report it? Well, if so, you become the subject of this discussion and a hundred more. What did she do to deserve this? Liberal vs Conservative nonsense, why did she....give him her number? Talk to him at that party? Etc etc etc.

It's a tired comparison but, if a guy was walking down the street at night and the Voice of the Bobcats mugged him, would we pick it apart like this? Would we bring up past cases where there were false accusations of robbery? Would we say "why was he walking down the street so late? Why was he flashing that expensive Rolex if he didn't want someone to take it from him? He has always been very generous with his money. Suddenly he doesn't want someone to take it?

Most of us know right from wrong. Most of you are clear on the situation here but, damn. What would you do? This happens to women ALL OF THE TIME. What would you do? What would you advise your daughter to do? Suck it up or open herself up as a target of exhaustive scrutiny and character assassination? Politics aside, football aside.....it just sucks.

Right, not disagreeing with anything you said. I just didn't understand the comment about needing to leave the state and possibly the industry because of it. However, I've never been in her shoes and unclear on how much official contact she would actually have to have with this dude.

 

[GGNez]

This is the part I don't understand....

“The assaults and harassment are why I decided to pursue a new opportunity and leave Montana,” Just said. “I was prepared to leave the journalism industry altogether had I not found another job.”

This guy was obviously in the wrong and a huge dipshit, but why would she have to leave the state and possibly journalism all together? She did a fine job covering the Griz, but I never got the sense she liked being in Missoula anyway. Regardless, no one should have to endure what she did.

This thread is why she had to leave Montana. I read this when it was only one page and thought to myself, "Where are the anti-Hauck, anti-eGriz people now? They should see all of these regular posters standing up for this woman against the creeper. Why do they paint eGrizzers and Griz Nation as a bunch of victim-blamers and mysogynists when so many are good guys with an obvious sense of right from wrong?"

Today, I roll my eyes. Sure, not all of the evidence is exposed and there are two sides...yada yada. But, anyone with a hint of common sense can read those texts and understand the scenario. NO....men don't need to be afraid to compliment women. No...it's not unusual or suspect that Amie gave the guy her number. I've given my number to a multitude of contacts, male and female, for many reasons. Creepy is creepy. We all know it. We know when we are on the receiving end of it, and a "creeper" knows when they are doing it.

So, you have a creeper touching your ass, giving you looks, sending you texts and otherwise has you in his "sights" as a potential sexual conquest and won't take no or unending hints. Do you ignore it? Most of us HAVE ignored it time after time after time. Do you report it? Well, if so, you become the subject of this discussion and a hundred more. What did she do to deserve this? Liberal vs Conservative nonsense, why did she....give him her number? Talk to him at that party? Etc etc etc.

It's a tired comparison but, if a guy was walking down the street at night and the Voice of the Bobcats mugged him, would we pick it apart like this? Would we bring up past cases where there were false accusations of robbery? Would we say "why was he walking down the street so late? Why was he flashing that expensive Rolex if he didn't want someone to take it from him? He has always been very generous with his money. Suddenly he doesn't want someone to take it?

Most of us know right from wrong. Most of you are clear on the situation here but, damn. What would you do? This happens to women ALL OF THE TIME. What would you do? What would you advise your daughter to do? Suck it up or open herself up as a target of exhaustive scrutiny and character assassination? Politics aside, football aside.....it just sucks.

Right, not disagreeing with anything you said. I just didn't understand the comment about needing to leave the state and possibly the industry because of it. However, I've never been in her shoes and unclear on how much official contact she would actually have to have with this dude.

I get it. Not disagreeing with anything in your post either. You're one of the good ones!!

 

[CDAGRIZ]

This is the part I don't understand....

“The assaults and harassment are why I decided to pursue a new opportunity and leave Montana,” Just said. “I was prepared to leave the journalism industry altogether had I not found another job.”

This guy was obviously in the wrong and a huge dipshit, but why would she have to leave the state and possibly journalism all together? She did a fine job covering the Griz, but I never got the sense she liked being in Missoula anyway. Regardless, no one should have to endure what she did.

This thread is why she had to leave Montana. I read this when it was only one page and thought to myself, "Where are the anti-Hauck, anti-eGriz people now? They should see all of these regular posters standing up for this woman against the creeper. Why do they paint eGrizzers and Griz Nation as a bunch of victim-blamers and mysogynists when so many are good guys with an obvious sense of right from wrong?"

Today, I roll my eyes. Sure, not all of the evidence is exposed and there are two sides...yada yada. But, anyone with a hint of common sense can read those texts and understand the scenario. NO....men don't need to be afraid to compliment women. No...it's not unusual or suspect that Amie gave the guy her number. I've given my number to a multitude of contacts, male and female, for many reasons. Creepy is creepy. We all know it. We know when we are on the receiving end of it, and a "creeper" knows when they are doing it.

So, you have a creeper touching your ass, giving you looks, sending you texts and otherwise has you in his "sights" as a potential sexual conquest and won't take no or unending hints. Do you ignore it? Most of us HAVE ignored it time after time after time. Do you report it? Well, if so, you become the subject of this discussion and a hundred more. What did she do to deserve this? Liberal vs Conservative nonsense, why did she....give him her number? Talk to him at that party? Etc etc etc.

It's a tired comparison but, if a guy was walking down the street at night and the Voice of the Bobcats mugged him, would we pick it apart like this? Would we bring up past cases where there were false accusations of robbery? Would we say "why was he walking down the street so late? Why was he flashing that expensive Rolex if he didn't want someone to take it from him? He has always been very generous with his money. Suddenly he doesn't want someone to take it?

Most of us know right from wrong. Most of you are clear on the situation here but, damn. What would you do? This happens to women ALL OF THE TIME. What would you do? What would you advise your daughter to do? Suck it up or open herself up as a target of exhaustive scrutiny and character assassination? Politics aside, football aside.....it just sucks.

I like your posts GG, but I don't like the comparison involving men and money. "Tired", maybe, "misguided", certainly. Nobody deserves to get mugged, male or female. Nobody deserves to get sexually harassed, male or female. I know that was your main point with the analogy.

This also happens to men ALL OF THE TIME in the workplace. I have borne witness to several instances (one including myself) of females in "positions of power" sexually harassing subordinate males. Unwanted touching/kissing/propositions, etc. were often met with "That was welcome, right?" or "You're a lucky dude, what do you care?" It happens that way much more than most might think. Your analogy doesn't have to be a man with a Rolex. It can just be female scumbag harassing a male subordinate. That's a much more on-point analogy, it sucks just as much, and the silencing, blaming, and shaming happens much earlier (i.e., before exposure) in my experience. I don't see it as a male/female thing at all, and I never will.

EDIT: to add the bold to the top para.

 

[GGNez]

This is the part I don't understand....

“The assaults and harassment are why I decided to pursue a new opportunity and leave Montana,” Just said. “I was prepared to leave the journalism industry altogether had I not found another job.”

This guy was obviously in the wrong and a huge dipshit, but why would she have to leave the state and possibly journalism all together? She did a fine job covering the Griz, but I never got the sense she liked being in Missoula anyway. Regardless, no one should have to endure what she did.

This thread is why she had to leave Montana. I read this when it was only one page and thought to myself, "Where are the anti-Hauck, anti-eGriz people now? They should see all of these regular posters standing up for this woman against the creeper. Why do they paint eGrizzers and Griz Nation as a bunch of victim-blamers and mysogynists when so many are good guys with an obvious sense of right from wrong?"

Today, I roll my eyes. Sure, not all of the evidence is exposed and there are two sides...yada yada. But, anyone with a hint of common sense can read those texts and understand the scenario. NO....men don't need to be afraid to compliment women. No...it's not unusual or suspect that Amie gave the guy her number. I've given my number to a multitude of contacts, male and female, for many reasons. Creepy is creepy. We all know it. We know when we are on the receiving end of it, and a "creeper" knows when they are doing it.

So, you have a creeper touching your ass, giving you looks, sending you texts and otherwise has you in his "sights" as a potential sexual conquest and won't take no or unending hints. Do you ignore it? Most of us HAVE ignored it time after time after time. Do you report it? Well, if so, you become the subject of this discussion and a hundred more. What did she do to deserve this? Liberal vs Conservative nonsense, why did she....give him her number? Talk to him at that party? Etc etc etc.

It's a tired comparison but, if a guy was walking down the street at night and the Voice of the Bobcats mugged him, would we pick it apart like this? Would we bring up past cases where there were false accusations of robbery? Would we say "why was he walking down the street so late? Why was he flashing that expensive Rolex if he didn't want someone to take it from him? He has always been very generous with his money. Suddenly he doesn't want someone to take it?

Most of us know right from wrong. Most of you are clear on the situation here but, damn. What would you do? This happens to women ALL OF THE TIME. What would you do? What would you advise your daughter to do? Suck it up or open herself up as a target of exhaustive scrutiny and character assassination? Politics aside, football aside.....it just sucks.

I like your posts GG, but I don't like the comparison involving men and money. "Tired", maybe, "misguided", certainly. Nobody deserves to get mugged, male or female. Nobody deserves to get sexually harassed, male or female. I know that was your main point with the analogy.

This also happens to men ALL OF THE TIME in the workplace. I have borne witness to several instances (one including myself) of females in "positions of power" sexually harassing subordinate males. Unwanted touching/kissing/propositions, etc. were often met with "That was welcome, right?" or "You're a lucky dude, what do you care?" It happens that way much more than most might think. Your analogy doesn't have to be a man with a Rolex. It can just be female scumbag harassing a male subordinate. That's a much more on-point analogy, it sucks just as much, and the silencing, blaming, and shaming happens much earlier (i.e., before exposure) in my experience. I don't see it as a male/female thing at all, and I never will.

EDIT: to add the bold to the top para.

I do agree, CDA. Analogizing the situation as though it is a male/female thing is simply due to the way that dialogue tends to go here on eGriz and in public (ie "#metoo"). You're absolutely right. And, reporting sexual harassment for men can be even worse. A local detective here in Missoula reported a female coworker for unwanted innuendo, grabbing his ass, etc and was made fun of by males in the judicial system, coworkers and the public in general. He's a family man with a great wife and should not have had to put up with that at work. There IS a strength differential anatomical differences that can make sexual harassment much more physically threatening and frightening when the offender is male, however.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

This is the part I don't understand....

“The assaults and harassment are why I decided to pursue a new opportunity and leave Montana,” Just said. “I was prepared to leave the journalism industry altogether had I not found another job.”

This guy was obviously in the wrong and a huge dipshit, but why would she have to leave the state and possibly journalism all together? She did a fine job covering the Griz, but I never got the sense she liked being in Missoula anyway. Regardless, no one should have to endure what she did.

This thread is why she had to leave Montana. I read this when it was only one page and thought to myself, "Where are the anti-Hauck, anti-eGriz people now? They should see all of these regular posters standing up for this woman against the creeper. Why do they paint eGrizzers and Griz Nation as a bunch of victim-blamers and mysogynists when so many are good guys with an obvious sense of right from wrong?"

Today, I roll my eyes. Sure, not all of the evidence is exposed and there are two sides...yada yada. But, anyone with a hint of common sense can read those texts and understand the scenario. NO....men don't need to be afraid to compliment women. No...it's not unusual or suspect that Amie gave the guy her number. I've given my number to a multitude of contacts, male and female, for many reasons. Creepy is creepy. We all know it. We know when we are on the receiving end of it, and a "creeper" knows when they are doing it.

So, you have a creeper touching your ass, giving you looks, sending you texts and otherwise has you in his "sights" as a potential sexual conquest and won't take no or unending hints. Do you ignore it? Most of us HAVE ignored it time after time after time. Do you report it? Well, if so, you become the subject of this discussion and a hundred more. What did she do to deserve this? Liberal vs Conservative nonsense, why did she....give him her number? Talk to him at that party? Etc etc etc.

It's a tired comparison but, if a guy was walking down the street at night and the Voice of the Bobcats mugged him, would we pick it apart like this? Would we bring up past cases where there were false accusations of robbery? Would we say "why was he walking down the street so late? Why was he flashing that expensive Rolex if he didn't want someone to take it from him? He has always been very generous with his money. Suddenly he doesn't want someone to take it?

Most of us know right from wrong. Most of you are clear on the situation here but, damn. What would you do? This happens to women ALL OF THE TIME. What would you do? What would you advise your daughter to do? Suck it up or open herself up as a target of exhaustive scrutiny and character assassination? Politics aside, football aside.....it just sucks.

I like your posts GG, but I don't like the comparison involving men and money. "Tired", maybe, "misguided", certainly. Nobody deserves to get mugged, male or female. Nobody deserves to get sexually harassed, male or female. I know that was your main point with the analogy.

This also happens to men ALL OF THE TIME in the workplace. I have borne witness to several instances (one including myself) of females in "positions of power" sexually harassing subordinate males. Unwanted touching/kissing/propositions, etc. were often met with "That was welcome, right?" or "You're a lucky dude, what do you care?" It happens that way much more than most might think. Your analogy doesn't have to be a man with a Rolex. It can just be female scumbag harassing a male subordinate. That's a much more on-point analogy, it sucks just as much, and the silencing, blaming, and shaming happens much earlier (i.e., before exposure) in my experience. I don't see it as a male/female thing at all, and I never will.

EDIT: to add the bold to the top para.

I do agree, CDA. Analogizing the situation as though it is a male/female thing is simply due to the way that dialogue tends to go here on eGriz and in public (ie "#metoo"). You're absolutely right. And, reporting sexual harassment for men can be even worse. A local detective here in Missoula reported a female coworker for unwanted innuendo, grabbing his ass, etc and was made fun of by males in the judicial system, coworkers and the public in general. He's a family man with a great wife and should not have had to put up with that at work. There IS a strength differential anatomical differences that can make sexual harassment much more physically threatening and frightening when the offender is male, however.

That's true. Good point.

 

[sdk.catfish]

In my opinion it would be better for some male posters to adopt the "noneya" position - i.e. this is none of your damn business. If it was then I would think that Amie would have made some reference to it when she left her closing remarks to e-griz. She didn't. Until you alpha-dogs have your first period, have about 480 others based of approximately 40 years of fertility, have a child or two, get your butts and bosoms pinched, etc ... then maybe you should just chill on this one. The opinions expressed by some of you are exactly why women keep this to themselves. My wife and daughter have several things that I believe they never feel comfortable discussing with me and I'm pretty much inclined to accept that even though I would support them to the fullest if they did. Just the way it is . So I say to a few of you, acknowledging the general support for Amie from many on this board, NONEYA in regard to her reasons for waiting.

 

[RayWill]

Okay, I am a little lost here. Other than a few people arguing legal semantics and two Cat posters saying some stupid arguments I have seen the vast majority of the guys on here being supportive. Maybe I have someone blocked or something and am not seeing the posts but where exactly did this turn ugly, supposedly, other than two posts? There is always going to be someone making stupid comments or something out of place but the important thing is that people are calling them out for it too if you read the whole thread.

 

[Allezchat]

So a few things:

I could see her waiting because she was afraid if she continued to work at the missoulian and reported it she would be subject to harrassment by him and other guys in the press corps. I don't know who's friends with who. Just thinking out loud.

 

[Ursa Major]

This thread is why she had to leave Montana. I read this when it was only one page and thought to myself, "Where are the anti-Hauck, anti-eGriz people now? They should see all of these regular posters standing up for this woman against the creeper. Why do they paint eGrizzers and Griz Nation as a bunch of victim-blamers and mysogynists when so many are good guys with an obvious sense of right from wrong?"

Today, I roll my eyes. Sure, not all of the evidence is exposed and there are two sides...yada yada. But, anyone with a hint of common sense can read those texts and understand the scenario. NO....men don't need to be afraid to compliment women. No...it's not unusual or suspect that Amie gave the guy her number. I've given my number to a multitude of contacts, male and female, for many reasons. Creepy is creepy. We all know it. We know when we are on the receiving end of it, and a "creeper" knows when they are doing it.

So, you have a creeper touching your ass, giving you looks, sending you texts and otherwise has you in his "sights" as a potential sexual conquest and won't take no or unending hints. Do you ignore it? Most of us HAVE ignored it time after time after time. Do you report it? Well, if so, you become the subject of this discussion and a hundred more. What did she do to deserve this? Liberal vs Conservative nonsense, why did she....give him her number? Talk to him at that party? Etc etc etc.

It's a tired comparison but, if a guy was walking down the street at night and the Voice of the Bobcats mugged him, would we pick it apart like this? Would we bring up past cases where there were false accusations of robbery? Would we say "why was he walking down the street so late? Why was he flashing that expensive Rolex if he didn't want someone to take it from him? He has always been very generous with his money. Suddenly he doesn't want someone to take it?

Most of us know right from wrong. Most of you are clear on the situation here but, damn. What would you do? This happens to women ALL OF THE TIME. What would you do? What would you advise your daughter to do? Suck it up or open herself up as a target of exhaustive scrutiny and character assassination? Politics aside, football aside.....it just sucks.

I like your posts GG, but I don't like the comparison involving men and money. "Tired", maybe, "misguided", certainly. Nobody deserves to get mugged, male or female. Nobody deserves to get sexually harassed, male or female. I know that was your main point with the analogy.

This also happens to men ALL OF THE TIME in the workplace. I have borne witness to several instances (one including myself) of females in "positions of power" sexually harassing subordinate males. Unwanted touching/kissing/propositions, etc. were often met with "That was welcome, right?" or "You're a lucky dude, what do you care?" It happens that way much more than most might think. Your analogy doesn't have to be a man with a Rolex. It can just be female scumbag harassing a male subordinate. That's a much more on-point analogy, it sucks just as much, and the silencing, blaming, and shaming happens much earlier (i.e., before exposure) in my experience. I don't see it as a male/female thing at all, and I never will.

EDIT: to add the bold to the top para.

I do agree, CDA. Analogizing the situation as though it is a male/female thing is simply due to the way that dialogue tends to go here on eGriz and in public (ie "#metoo"). You're absolutely right. And, reporting sexual harassment for men can be even worse. A local detective here in Missoula reported a female coworker for unwanted innuendo, grabbing his ass, etc and was made fun of by males in the judicial system, coworkers and the public in general. He's a family man with a great wife and should not have had to put up with that at work. There IS a strength differential anatomical differences that can make sexual harassment much more physically threatening and frightening when the offender is male, however.

That's true. Good point.

The positive of your position is that you won't have PR questioning your mental health status, your motives or your tardiness of reporting the issue on eGriz. You've got that going for you, which is nice, I guess.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

I like your posts GG, but I don't like the comparison involving men and money. "Tired", maybe, "misguided", certainly. Nobody deserves to get mugged, male or female. Nobody deserves to get sexually harassed, male or female. I know that was your main point with the analogy.

This also happens to men ALL OF THE TIME in the workplace. I have borne witness to several instances (one including myself) of females in "positions of power" sexually harassing subordinate males. Unwanted touching/kissing/propositions, etc. were often met with "That was welcome, right?" or "You're a lucky dude, what do you care?" It happens that way much more than most might think. Your analogy doesn't have to be a man with a Rolex. It can just be female scumbag harassing a male subordinate. That's a much more on-point analogy, it sucks just as much, and the silencing, blaming, and shaming happens much earlier (i.e., before exposure) in my experience. I don't see it as a male/female thing at all, and I never will.

EDIT: to add the bold to the top para.

I do agree, CDA. Analogizing the situation as though it is a male/female thing is simply due to the way that dialogue tends to go here on eGriz and in public (ie "#metoo"). You're absolutely right. And, reporting sexual harassment for men can be even worse. A local detective here in Missoula reported a female coworker for unwanted innuendo, grabbing his ass, etc and was made fun of by males in the judicial system, coworkers and the public in general. He's a family man with a great wife and should not have had to put up with that at work. There IS a strength differential anatomical differences that can make sexual harassment much more physically threatening and frightening when the offender is male, however.

That's true. Good point.

The positive of your position is that you won't have PR questioning your mental health status, your motives or your tardiness of reporting the issue on eGriz. You've got that going for you, which is nice, I guess.

Well, I have to admit I never formally reported the issue because I was an intern and wanted the job. I do recognize the double standard post-reporting, in both directions.

 

[JDoub]

read the article, didn't read all the comments.

I believe you Aime.

I'm a Bobcat, and do no want to be associated with anyone like Jay.

I wish I could apologize for him. I wish I could say for him "I apologize. I came on to you incessantly when you clearly didn't want me to, betraying my wife and family, betraying you as a professional and a decent human being. I traumatized you and I was, and am, completely wrong and ashamed. What can I do to make this right by you? You get to decide."

But abusers, groomers, and narcissists don't say those things. They rarely repent, or confess.

I wish Jay would become part of the solution, but he's part of the problem. I hope he sees that someday, and he has the courage to do serious introspection.

Keep being strong, and take trauma seriously -- it's so much more powerful and complicated that most think, it can actually change neurological structures of the brain, and needs to be understood and treated competently.

I actually hurt with you, but admire you for not taking his shit right now. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not supposed to be this way.

 

[GGNez]

read the article, didn't read all the comments.

I believe you Aime.

I'm a Bobcat, and do no want to be associated with anyone like Jay.

I wish I could apologize for him. I wish I could say for him "I apologize. I came on to you incessantly when you clearly didn't want me to, betraying my wife and family, betraying you as a professional and a decent human being. I traumatized you and I was, and am, completely wrong and ashamed. What can I do to make this right by you? You get to decide."

But abusers, groomers, and narcissists don't say those things. They rarely repent, or confess.

I wish Jay would become part of the solution, but he's part of the problem. I hope he sees that someday, and he has the courage to do serious introspection.

Keep being strong, and take trauma seriously -- it's so much more powerful and complicated that most think, it can actually change neurological structures of the brain, and needs to be understood and treated competently.

I actually hurt with you, but admire you for not taking his shit right now. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not supposed to be this way.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

You understand the complexities of trauma and the dynamics of this issue. You see clearly the further damage done when ignorant remarks simplify a complex matter by questioning the victim's integrity for many reasons; timing, method of reporting, hesitance, etc. Great post. My hope is that one day people will take it upon themselves to study the answers to their questions about these matters rather than pelting the victims with accusatory questions and comments. Why did you wait to tell? Why did you trust for so long? Why wouldn't you just do....this....that...? Google it, folks. Throwing those types of questions at victims and telling them why you would have handled things differently is placing blame on someone who has already been victimised. It's that simple.

Thanks for this, JDoub.

 

[AZGrizFan]

read the article, didn't read all the comments.

I believe you Aime.

I'm a Bobcat, and do no want to be associated with anyone like Jay.

I wish I could apologize for him. I wish I could say for him "I apologize. I came on to you incessantly when you clearly didn't want me to, betraying my wife and family, betraying you as a professional and a decent human being. I traumatized you and I was, and am, completely wrong and ashamed. What can I do to make this right by you? You get to decide."

But abusers, groomers, and narcissists don't say those things. They rarely repent, or confess.

I wish Jay would become part of the solution, but he's part of the problem. I hope he sees that someday, and he has the courage to do serious introspection.

Keep being strong, and take trauma seriously -- it's so much more powerful and complicated that most think, it can actually change neurological structures of the brain, and needs to be understood and treated competently.

I actually hurt with you, but admire you for not taking his shit right now. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not supposed to be this way.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

You understand the complexities of trauma and the dynamics of this issue. You see clearly the further damage done when ignorant remarks simplify a complex matter by questioning the victim's integrity for many reasons; timing, method of reporting, hesitance, etc. Great post. My hope is that one day people will take it upon themselves to study the answers to their questions about these matters rather than pelting the victims with accusatory questions and comments. Why did you wait to tell? Why did you trust for so long? Why wouldn't you just do....this....that...? Google it, folks. Throwing those types of questions at victims and telling them why you would have handled things differently is placing blame on someone who has already been victimised. It's that simple.

Thanks for this, JDoub.

How can we study (or ever learn) the answers to the questions if we're not allowed to ask them of someone who's been victimized?

 

[Spanky2]

How many comments did he make to her and over what period of time? How many texts did he send and over what period of time? Did she respond to any of his texts? Did he put either or both of his hands on her posterior?

 

[GGNez]

read the article, didn't read all the comments.

I believe you Aime.

I'm a Bobcat, and do no want to be associated with anyone like Jay.

I wish I could apologize for him. I wish I could say for him "I apologize. I came on to you incessantly when you clearly didn't want me to, betraying my wife and family, betraying you as a professional and a decent human being. I traumatized you and I was, and am, completely wrong and ashamed. What can I do to make this right by you? You get to decide."

But abusers, groomers, and narcissists don't say those things. They rarely repent, or confess.

I wish Jay would become part of the solution, but he's part of the problem. I hope he sees that someday, and he has the courage to do serious introspection.

Keep being strong, and take trauma seriously -- it's so much more powerful and complicated that most think, it can actually change neurological structures of the brain, and needs to be understood and treated competently.

I actually hurt with you, but admire you for not taking his shit right now. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not supposed to be this way.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

You understand the complexities of trauma and the dynamics of this issue. You see clearly the further damage done when ignorant remarks simplify a complex matter by questioning the victim's integrity for many reasons; timing, method of reporting, hesitance, etc. Great post. My hope is that one day people will take it upon themselves to study the answers to their questions about these matters rather than pelting the victims with accusatory questions and comments. Why did you wait to tell? Why did you trust for so long? Why wouldn't you just do....this....that...? Google it, folks. Throwing those types of questions at victims and telling them why you would have handled things differently is placing blame on someone who has already been victimised. It's that simple.

Thanks for this, JDoub.

How can we study (or ever learn) the answers to the questions if we're not allowed to ask them of someone who's been victimized?

Google it.

Google the effects of trauma on the brain. Google every question you’d want to ask a victim. Why didn’t you speak up right away? Why didn’t you scream? I would have punched him, why didn’t you?

I don’t mind being asked because I’ve chosen to become an educator about these issues. But, in the midst of trauma when you’re being called a liar, often being threatened - hearing “how could you let that happen to yourself” in various forms is being kicked while you’re down.

That’s why I encourage people to educate themselves; so that when abuse of any sort is disclosed, you don’t inadvertently kick someone while they’re down.

 

[sdk.catfish]

Post by Spanky2 » Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:52 pm

How many comments did he make to her and over what period of time? How many texts did he send and over what period of time? Did she respond to any of his texts? Did he put either or both of his hands on her posterior?

Until the time Ms. Just chooses to unveil the answers to your questions on e-griz or another format that you can publicly access, and she certainly seems disinclined presently to do so which is understandable, I'm thinking the one answer to all your questions is NONEYA