Stan Becton, NCAA writer

[Ursa Major]

I think that works! Becton is the main character, but his employer and his wealthy friends who all speak in that transatlantic accent have major roles as well. Becton gets himself into multiple recurring pickles because he doesn't have any butler training and lied about his name being Becton to get the job. He's actually a redneck from some Dakota.

In the pilot, Becton's boss asks him to prepare a fancy beef dish for a fancy dinner party the boss is hosting. Becton, not knowing what to do, goes around town (I'm thinking Newport, Rhode Island) in a panic looking for ingredients. In a series of failures and follies, he ends up making the fanciest beef dinner he can muster: bacon cheeseburgers.

He's sweating bullets as he removes the silver cloches, and the aristocrats gaze upon the meal skeptically. None of them having encountered a bacon cheeseburger before, they rave about them while eating with knives and forks. Buffy even says it's the best beef entrée she's ever tasted. Chadwick asks what it's called. Becton, ever thinking on his feet (get it?) blurts out, "A Royal Islander, sir. It is Dutch." The boss gives a toast to Becton and everyone applauds. The Boss says, "Leave it to Becton!" with his glass in the air as the screen freezes.

Gotta work on casting.

THAT’S your pilot! Brilliant.

The lead character, Becton, has to continually outwit the aristocratic family using his common sense blue collar wits.

I’m picturing a James Cromwell as the patriarch and Mary Steenburgen as Buffy. Becton is maybe a young Vince Vaughn but obviously sloppier and fatter coming from the Dakotas.

Perhaps a widowed hot siren neighbor that’s attracted to Becton. Becton is attracted to both her and her gorgeous daughter that attends nearby Mount Holyoke. Playoff of the sexual tension between the three and Becton’s fear of being discovered as just another dweeb from one of the Dakotas.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

THAT’S your pilot! Brilliant.

The lead character, Becton, has to continually outwit the aristocratic family using his common sense blue collar wits.

I’m picturing a James Cromwell as the patriarch and Mary Steenburgen as Buffy. Becton is maybe a young Vince Vaughn but obviously sloppier and fatter coming from the Dakotas.

Perhaps a widowed hot siren neighbor that’s attracted to Becton. Becton is attracted to both her and her gorgeous daughter that attends nearby Mount Holyoke. Playoff of the sexual tension between the three and Becton’s fear of being discovered as just another dweeb from one of the Dakotas.

It's all deadly. I was thinking of a multi-episode arc during the first season where the patriarch gets driven by a Wendy's on the outskirts of town and sees a Baconator poster in the window. He then tells Becton that someone has stolen his idea for the Royal Islander and vows legal revenge. Sweaty Becton says it's no big deal, but the patriarch insists. Becton then has to go through the process of pretending he invented the bacon cheeseburger so he doesn't blow his cover. All the while, the Mount Holyoke daughter is hip to the charade, but vows to keep quiet. Lastly, after the legal action has been dismissed for ridiculousness, Becton sees the aristocrats dining IN at the Wendy's on Baconators as the screen freezes.

We have the bulk of the first season written, plus a cliff-hanger.

 

[Wolf777]

It seems like Becton needs an adversary of the same age though. Someone like a snotty rich snob of a son that nobody takes seriously. A Milton maybe? Constantly outing him to the family, but Becton always finds a way to downplay his concerns to the family with what seems like logical explanations. All the while rewriting redneck history in the midst of the oblivious aristocracy he finds himself entrenched in.

Seems like he also needs some ill fated or in opportune interactions with people from his past. Maybe his old friend Bucky that used to shotgun beers with him in the cornfields back in the day, or a portly ex girlfriend Bertha who knows all the dirt on poor Becton. It seems like sweating things out may be poor Bectons trademark quality.

 

[IdaGriz01]

You people are having so much fun, I hope you don’t mind if I toss in some football data … as most of you know, I’m a numbers guy.

Becton reminds me of Jay Walker (ESPN announcer), the way he rhapsodizes over the wonders of HBCU football. Neither of them seem to understand (don’t want to, I suppose) that these teams are not competitive at the FCS level. Sure, Becton throws out some high NCAA rankings for Florida A&M (FAMU) in various team categories, including several defensive stats. But it’s not that difficult to show good results when your competition is crap. And most of the SWAC and MEAC teams are crap.

Numbers for conference strength (from Sagarin, but others are basically the same): MEAC = 34.28 (#26). SWAC-EAST = 33.41 (#27). SWAC-WEST = 31.31 (#28). Only the sad Northeast Conference and Pioneer League are weaker. For comparison, MVFC = 55.72 (#16, tops among 1-AA). BSC = 52.50 (#17).

Currently, there are eighteen teams in the two HBCU conference, six in the MEAC and twelve in the two-division SWAC. With that many teams, the members mostly play each other, either as regular conference games or as out-of-conference (OOC) matches.

Still, between 2017 and through 2023, those eighteen teams played 143 games against FCS opponents outside of either HBCU conference. (They also played 115 FBS money games, and 110 against D-II or lower level teams. They got blown out in the money games, but managed to win 85% against the non-D-I opponents.) Most of the FCS opponents were lower tier: Abilene Christian, Nichols, McNeese, Georgetown, Hampton, Wagner. etc. Yet even with that advantage, the HBCU teams won less than a quarter of those games: 34-109 (23.8%).

The Southern Conference seemed like it would make a good comparison because those nine teams play many OOC games at the FCS level. They are also high-middle in strength (Sagarin #20). SoCon teams went 61-45 (57.5%) against those FCS opponents. (That would look even better if I excluded several losses in the playoffs, including Montana’s win this year over Furman.)

Bottom line: The MEAC/SWAC teams mostly lose when they venture out of their HBCU enclave to play other FCS opponents. Since they now point toward the post-season Celebration Bowl, they need at least one “extra” good team to get an invite to the FCS playoffs. That’s rare, but it does happen. This year, NC Central got pummeled by Richmond, 49-27. It’s been a quarter century since one of these teams has won an FCS playoff game (FAMU in 1999).

For Becton to trot out statistics compiled against mostly HBCU opponents is either monumentally stupid or laughably biased. (FWIW: Between them, the two conferences played just 25 games this year against FCS opponents outside the HBCU … they were 9-16.)

 

[CDAGRIZ]

It seems like Becton needs an adversary of the same age though. Someone like a snotty rich snob of a son that nobody takes seriously. A Milton maybe? Constantly outing him to the family, but Becton always finds a way to downplay his concerns to the family with what seems like logical explanations. All the while rewriting redneck history in the midst of the oblivious aristocracy he finds himself entrenched in.

Seems like he also needs some ill fated or in opportune interactions with people from his past. Maybe his old friend Bucky that used to shotgun beers with him in the cornfields back in the day, or a portly ex girlfriend Bertha who knows all the dirt on poor Becton. It seems like sweating things out may be poor Bectons trademark quality.

I love the angle of chance encounters with Dakkers from his youth in the presence of his boss at fancy places. “Gordo?! It’s you! You beat me in the butter eating contest back in ‘02! I won a silent auction at the Elks to get these seats. Why in the hell are you here?” “Becton” has to act like he’s someone else to save face in front of his boss.

I’m not married to the “Gordo” name as Becton’s real name if anyone has suggestions. But, that’s an episode.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

You people are having so much fun, I hope you don’t mind if I toss in some football data … as most of you know, I’m a numbers guy.

Becton reminds me of Jay Walker (ESPN announcer), the way he rhapsodizes over the wonders of HBCU football. Neither of them seem to understand (don’t want to, I suppose) that these teams are not competitive at the FCS level. Sure, Becton throws out some high NCAA rankings for Florida A&M (FAMU) in various team categories, including several defensive stats. But it’s not that difficult to show good results when your competition is crap. And most of the SWAC and MEAC teams are crap.

Numbers for conference strength (from Sagarin, but others are basically the same): MEAC = 34.28 (#26). SWAC-EAST = 33.41 (#27). SWAC-WEST = 31.31 (#28). Only the sad Northeast Conference and Pioneer League are weaker. For comparison, MVFC = 55.72 (#16, tops among 1-AA). BSC = 52.50 (#17).

Currently, there are eighteen teams in the two HBCU conference, six in the MEAC and twelve in the two-division SWAC. With that many teams, the members mostly play each other, either as regular conference games or as out-of-conference (OOC) matches.

Still, between 2017 and through 2023, those eighteen teams played 143 games against FCS opponents outside of either HBCU conference. (They also played 115 FBS money games, and 110 against D-II or lower level teams. They got blown out in the money games, but managed to win 85% against the non-D-I opponents.) Most of the FCS opponents were lower tier: Abilene Christian, Nichols, McNeese, Georgetown, Hampton, Wagner. etc. Yet even with that advantage, the HBCU teams won less than a quarter of those games: 34-109 (23.8%).

The Southern Conference seemed like it would make a good comparison because those nine teams play many OOC games at the FCS level. They are also high-middle in strength (Sagarin #20). SoCon teams went 61-45 (57.5%) against those FCS opponents. (That would look even better if I excluded several losses in the playoffs, including Montana’s win this year over Furman.)

Bottom line: The MEAC/SWAC teams mostly lose when they venture out of their HBCU enclave to play other FCS opponents. Since they now point toward the post-season Celebration Bowl, they need at least one “extra” good team to get an invite to the FCS playoffs. That’s rare, but it does happen. This year, NC Central got pummeled by Richmond, 49-27. It’s been a quarter century since one of these teams has won an FCS playoff game (FAMU in 1999).

For Becton to trot out statistics compiled against mostly HBCU opponents is either monumentally stupid or laughably biased. (FWIW: Between them, the two conferences played just 25 games this year against FCS opponents outside the HBCU … they were 9-16.)

This is great data. Yes, we have had fun writing almost a full season of sitcom about Becton being a fraud. I trust you can appreciate the connection.

 

[IdaGriz01]

... This is great data. Yes, we have had fun writing almost a full season of sitcom about Becton being a fraud. I trust you can appreciate the connection.

:thumb:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[SaskGriz]

The HSBC is just another level of college football; could they play in a major FCS, of course not. Could they beat most Div 2's; yes and probably quite easily some years. Would they be competitive with the top Div 2's; Ferris State, Grand Valley, Duluth, CS of Mines, Gardner Webb; maybe, year to year.

 

[rocklobster]

Becton sounds like a butler’s name.

“Becton, fetch the soup at once! Oh, Becton, it was here before me all along. What would I do without you, Becton?”

Working on a pilot.

:clap: :clap:

 

[GrizTexas]

This is the most attention this guy has gotten in the last five years?!