#AskCDA

[cclarkblues]

So CDA, I have lately been getting into watching Curling as a sport. Is it wrong to enjoy watching attractive female athletes screaming Hard! Hard! HARD! as the rock glides down the ice? It doesn't seem to be the neutered, metrosexual attitude that is so in vogue these days.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

Benjamin Franklin said "An ounce of preparation is worth a pound of cure." Did he buy his Preparation H in the fancy, e-z open 5 gallon pail?

That's a great question people ask me often. The answer is no. Benny lived before the introduction of the E-Z open lids. They were introduced in 1955, if I'm not mistaken. Don't dare take this to mean BF didn't roll through PH by the gallon. Nobody used more, reportedly.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

I heard some good things were taking place with all the advice you have been handing out lately so I have a question for you CDA.

A friend of mine has been having some trouble with the media lately and I wanted some advice on how you would deal with them. My friend is between a rock and a hard place, his job is kind of in the shadow of another more successful job position and it has been that way for quite some time.

What would you suggest to my friend to help him stand out in his profession and try to even the playing field that is very, very one sided?

I will hang up and wait for your words of wisdom, BTW I like what you have done with the place.

Hi Ron, this is a shitty question that people almost never ask me. I'll try to help, though. I think your friend should retire. There isn't much he can do in this situation without looking like an idiot. It reminds me of this time when a coach of a state college went off the rails on an issue that would never concern him. It was almost like he didn't care what people thought of him, like when an old man farts in public. In sum, tell your friend to hang 'em up.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

*Raises hand*

CDA, for how long will we be graced with Ron Ash's presence on eGriz?
This one has deja vu written all over it...

This is a great question often asked of me. I don't know the exact answer, but my hope is that Ron Ash is here for years to come. He's a great poster and I'd like to welcome him and his family to eGriz.com. Prepare to win championships.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

So CDA, I have lately been getting into watching Curling as a sport. Is it wrong to enjoy watching attractive female athletes screaming Hard! Hard! HARD! as the rock glides down the ice? It doesn't seem to be the neutered, metrosexual attitude that is so in vogue these days.

The curling question is great, and one that people ask me often. You shouldn't feel bad or wrong about primal feelings.

We've lost a lot of good men over the years to neutering via public opinion and/or chicks who don't realize they are ruining what they found attractive in the first place. The "happy wife, happy life" movement turns men into pussies. If you like to watch female curlers and feel like a caveman, I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing.

 

[garizzalies]

CDA,

Long-time caller, first-time listener. I'm a little nervous; I can't believe I got through.

I wanted to ask a question that has puzzled me my whole life:

Why do the bobcats suck so bad?

And a follow-up, if I may:

Why do bobcat fans think they won a NC in 1984 when there is no video evidence of such an event?

I'll hang up and listen off air. THANK you for all you do!

 

[CDAGRIZ]

CDA,

Long-time caller, first-time listener. I'm a little nervous; I can't believe I got through.

I wanted to ask a question that has puzzled me my whole life:

Why do the bobcats suck so bad?

And a follow-up, if I may:

Why do bobcat fans think they won a NC in 1984 when there is no video evidence of such an event?

I'll hang up and listen off air. THANK you for all you do!

Garizzalies, this is one great question that people often ask me. It has baffled scholars, analysts, therapists, and analrapists for decades. The general consensus is that the Bobcats suck so bad because they are not only lil' bro, but very, very lil'. Like when the parents have an "accident" when the eldest is in high school. Mom didn't know she still had to take the necessary precautions, etc. The result is a State College so far behind the flagship in every way, that lil' bro cares mostly about itself compared to big bro as opposed to itself compared to the world in general.

Think about the other State Colleges: Washington State, Oregon State, Michigan State, Oklahoma State, and so on. They have seen success against their bigger bros in certain years, but don't equate their self worth with how they are doing against said big bros. The Bobcats are a different feline. They would rather the Griz miss the playoffs than they make the playoffs. It's a classic lil' bro syndrome that they exacerbate by logging onto eGriz with any good MSU news, but really exacerbate by logging onto eGriz to post about any bad Griz news. Unless and until they can feel like their own person, they will always suck.

As for your second question, which, I might add, is a great question often asked of me, the Bobcat faithful subscribe to the George Costanza mentality that "it's not a lie, if you believe it." It has become easier and easier for them to believe in the 1984 NC myth as the decades go by. A true critical thinker, like yourself, will question the veracity of NC tales with absolutely no video evidence. It's a lofty claim, and the fact that the 1984 Championship in every other sport (including, but certainly not limited to, the 1984 Iowa H.S. Girls' basketball championship) has video evidence, simply underscores the incredible claims regarding the '84 MSU fable. The truth is: the average Bobcat fan cannot separate the ballad of Humpty Dumpty from the Iran-Contra Affair. Both occurred in their minds.

I hope these answers find you well.

-CDA

 

[AllWeatherFan]

So CDA, I have lately been getting into watching Curling as a sport. Is it wrong to enjoy watching attractive female athletes screaming Hard! Hard! HARD! as the rock glides down the ice? It doesn't seem to be the neutered, metrosexual attitude that is so in vogue these days.

The curling question is great, and one that people ask me often. You shouldn't feel bad or wrong about primal feelings.

We've lost a lot of good men over the years to neutering via public opinion and/or chicks who don't realize they are ruining what they found attractive in the first place. The "happy wife, happy life" movement turns men into pussies. If you like to watch female curlers and feel like a caveman, I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing.

He answered both the curling question AND the media question. Highly efficient.

 

[JBS]

CDA, E=MC2. Fact or fiction? I have a problem with this because if the mass of an object is equivelant to the energy that object contains, and results in velocity that is twice the speed of light (I really don't have a clue what all of this actually means, much less understand it), then how in the hell is Bozeman still on the face of this earth after thier annual crashes in the late fall? Or is it all just relative?

Signed,

Dazed and confused

 

[CFallsGriz]

Hi CDA. First-time, long-time. I've got a burning question:

Is it possible for a person to be wise beyond their years, yet exhibit an almost child-like fascination and carelessness with fire?

As a follow-up, can such a confounding juxtaposition ever be reconciled?

Yours,
CFalls

 

[JBS]

cda,

I hate to give you another question so soon, but I am in a pickle. I have been on another thread on the main board that is about a serious subject (actually, I don't know how it is still on the main board). I have found myself in angry disagreement with AWF, and I don't want to be since I actually like him on less serious subjects. I really have no actual friends and don't want to lose whatever precarious hold I may or may not have on online friends. Should I go with my gut feeling and continue to pound away at him and make myself seem like an asshole, or should I let my emotions take over like a female and forgive him for having the wrong opinion?


p.s. It is just this topic AWF, close to home, nothing personal.

 

[AllWeatherFan]

cda,

I hate to give you another question so soon, but I am in a pickle. I have been on another thread on the main board that is about a serious subject (actually, I don't know how it is still on the main board). I have found myself in angry disagreement with AWF, and I don't want to be since I actually like him on less serious subjects. I really have no actual friends and don't want to lose whatever precarious hold I may or may not have on online friends. Should I go with my gut feeling and continue to pound away at him and make myself seem like an asshole, or should I let my emotions take over like a female and forgive him for having the wrong opinion?


p.s. It is just this topic AWF, close to home, nothing personal.

You should forgive him and buy him 35 beers. He'll do the same for you when he sobers up.

 

[grizpack]

CDA - I love my wife. But she interferes with my fishing and drinking habits. I have encouraged her to have some fun of her own, and have tried to set her up with friends of mine. However, they know her, and know they could never afford her. My question is, do I offer a reward???? And if so, what is a reasonable fee?? Is it reasonable to request payment terms? What is a good interest rate? Do I offer a trade-in deal? I really love her, but C'mon Man!!!

And AG1 - A preemptive STFU!!!

 

[AZGrizFan]

CDA - I love my wife. But she interferes with my fishing and drinking habits. I have encouraged her to have some fun of her own, and have tried to set her up with friends of mine. However, they know her, and know they could never afford her. My question is, do I offer a reward???? And if so, what is a reasonable fee?? Is it reasonable to request payment terms? What is a good interest rate? Do I offer a trade-in deal? I really love her, but C'mon Man!!!

And AG1 - A preemptive STFU!!!

Yeah AG1, STFU!!

 

[CDAGRIZ]

CDA, E=MC2. Fact or fiction? I have a problem with this because if the mass of an object is equivelant to the energy that object contains, and results in velocity that is twice the speed of light (I really don't have a clue what all of this actually means, much less understand it), then how in the hell is Bozeman still on the face of this earth after thier annual crashes in the late fall? Or is it all just relative?

Signed,

Dazed and confused

This is a great question that people often ask me. The answer is that it's all relative, but that's just my theory. Also, the shit pond anchors the town to keep it from spinning off the Earth as it revolves. Bozeman: the shittiness makes us fly away, and also keeps us here.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

Hi CDA. First-time, long-time. I've got a burning question:

Is it possible for a person to be wise beyond their years, yet exhibit an almost child-like fascination and carelessness with fire?

As a follow-up, can such a confounding juxtaposition ever be reconciled?

Yours,
CFalls

CFalls, this is a great question, and one I am often asked. The answer is yes, it is possible, but very uncommon. The reconciliation lies in the rationale for the pyromania. People in this situation are undoubtedly supremely intelligent, but have issues from the past. Many say that these folks have had past lovers who left them with "a burning below" or as I, er-, some of them call it, "The Peepee Fire." Legend has it that many an arsonist takes to the gas and matches when he is having a relapse of The Peepee Fire.

 

[JBS]

cda,

I hate to give you another question so soon, but I am in a pickle. I have been on another thread on the main board that is about a serious subject (actually, I don't know how it is still on the main board). I have found myself in angry disagreement with AWF, and I don't want to be since I actually like him on less serious subjects. I really have no actual friends and don't want to lose whatever precarious hold I may or may not have on online friends. Should I go with my gut feeling and continue to pound away at him and make myself seem like an asshole, or should I let my emotions take over like a female and forgive him for having the wrong opinion?


p.s. It is just this topic AWF, close to home, nothing personal.

You should forgive him and buy him 35 beers. He'll do the same for you when he sobers up.

Alright! I saw COSTCO had these 30 packs of whatever thier brand is. Then I could just grab a 6 pack of Hamms and drink one. 35. Voila!

 

[MrTitleist]

CDA,

People have recently taken a very strong liking to bacon, I attribute this to Ron Swanson.. with all of the new fads of bacon flavored this or that, what do you think will be the next bacon flavored food to grace the world with its presence?

Sincerely,

Hungry in Missoula

 

[CDAGRIZ]

cda,

I hate to give you another question so soon, but I am in a pickle. I have been on another thread on the main board that is about a serious subject (actually, I don't know how it is still on the main board). I have found myself in angry disagreement with AWF, and I don't want to be since I actually like him on less serious subjects. I really have no actual friends and don't want to lose whatever precarious hold I may or may not have on online friends. Should I go with my gut feeling and continue to pound away at him and make myself seem like an asshole, or should I let my emotions take over like a female and forgive him for having the wrong opinion?


p.s. It is just this topic AWF, close to home, nothing personal.

JBS, this is a great question that people often ask me. Rather than using "pound away" and "asshole" in the same sentence with male pronouns, I think you should take AWF's advice in purchasing 35 beers for his consumption. I think you will see that the outcome will be much better than the alternative. I hope this advice finds you well.

 

[CDAGRIZ]

CDA - I love my wife. But she interferes with my fishing and drinking habits. I have encouraged her to have some fun of her own, and have tried to set her up with friends of mine. However, they know her, and know they could never afford her. My question is, do I offer a reward???? And if so, what is a reasonable fee?? Is it reasonable to request payment terms? What is a good interest rate? Do I offer a trade-in deal? I really love her, but C'mon Man!!!

And AG1 - A preemptive STFU!!!

Grizpack, this is a great question that I am often asked, by people and fish alike. If you do decide to pimp out your wife to the public, I would adhere to the three longstanding rules for pimping one's wife out to the public:

1. No eye contact
2. No sleepovers
3. No excuses; play like a champion

The fee depends on the goods, like in any other transaction. Statutory interest is 10% (thanks, Obama). If she's not performing by the end of FY 2016, I would consider a trade-in, or just maybe writing off the asset. Oft overlooked is a capital investment for "enhancements" on the front end of the deal. If this is in your wheelhouse, I would recommend it.

Good luck, and have fun.