GGNez said:
PR, a culture of sexism or rape culture refers to a multitude of accepted attitudes and behaviors that enable and sometimes incite sexual assault and misogyny. For example, here's a hypothetical: imagine a chat forum made up mostly of men and a few women. A couple of the men repeatedly respond to anything the female says with remarks like, "go make me a sandwich" or "you probably perform sex acts for food". Most of the other men wouldn't say those things, but they also don't stand up for the woman. A few respond with a laughing or applause emoji. Seems harmless, but it is creating and supporting a group message that says that the female is inferior to the others. Or, an overweight female has an opinion you disagree with. When the general consensus of people accept that it's ok or "normal" to call her fat or unattractive but would not respond that way to an unattractive overweight male, that is a "culture" that accepts the notion that women are to be judged on their physical appearance rather than their mind. These are only two examples of seemingly minor factors that all play into undermining and disrespecting an entire gender. Similarly, and at another level, many college parties have had a tradition of inviting freshman females, making a special "punch" for them with extra alcohol or even worse, then getting them intentionally wasted so they can have sex with them. The entire "culture" at the party accepts this as ok and "normal", that perpetuates rape against women. Or, at least, manipulation and taking advantage of women if you prefer not to use the appropriate word. Beau Donaldson's rape victim was taunted, harassed, threatened on campus, online, downtown and had to listen to her high school teacher talk about Beau's exemplary character at his sentencing. He did it. He raped her. So, a "norm" within a social group that accepts punishing victims is part of this entire "culture".
These are just a few examples - as a female, I can tell you we have ALL experienced several others on many levels our entire lives. It's up to you - the real men - at this point. Most of you are respectful, and wonderful people. But, you gotta get to the next level and start calling out other men as if their target is your mom or sister. Because they deal with it all the time too.
Am I being an "angry man-hating feminist?" f*** no. I love men. Most of my friends are men. I am not easily offended. But, this is the answer. "Rape Culture" is not a buzz word.
If you really want to learn, this is a decent article:
http://www.southernct.edu/sexual-misconduct/facts.html
What is unfortunate is one could substitute or switch "men" and "women" in many examples. Let's flip the tables....
Chat forum made up of mostly women who may degrade, shame, belittle or make sexually suggestive derogatory remarks about one of the few male posters...check.
Respond with laughing emoji (A pat on the back "you go girl" if you will) Little if any women on forum defending man. Possibly even ganging up on him.....check
Grossly overweight man has an opinion many women will disagree with. Or let's say just for shits and giggles a guy with an orange face and hair that looks like a muppet character when the wind blows. Women are going to make fun of his appearance and say vicious things about his physical attributes? He has a different opinion so fair game right?....check
As a male I can tell you I have been sexually harassed by females more times than I can count in my lifetime. Physically and verbally, most often by strangers, on many occasions by "superiors" or co-workers, quite often in groups.
Are repeated unwanted advances considered sexual harassment? Grabbing my ass in public? Trying to undo my belt? Loudly proclaiming very inappropriate things about my body and than laughing with your (and I don't mean YOUR GG, rather whomever the instigator is) friends?....check...check....check.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a gentleman to ladies. I will hold the door open and say yes 'mam and thank you please and smile. I raised two spectacular, educated and beautiful daughters on my own (Yes, their mother bailed over 20 years ago, haven't seen her since) I could go on about the "deadbeat dad" labeling, quite often by our lawmakers but that's a whole different story.
What I'm getting at is it just isn't a women issue. It's a people issue. I'm not the one to say how any individual should or shouldn't be affected by being sexually harassed, assaulted, shamed etc but I will say I think I'm pretty freaking normal, mentally sound and successful for being assaulted so many times. I brushed it off, shrugged it off, made excuses for the culprits (ladies in the bachelorette party must have been into the punch at the dorm party) and didn't let it bother me the next day or years later. Should everyone react the same as me? Most certainly not, everyone handles traumatic events differently.
What I AM saying is if it bothers you personally, seek help, take action, file charges or go public if necessary but (in my opinion) don't make a big deal of it if it doesn't bother you just because someone else says you have been violated and this is how you SHOULD feel.
I sometimes get the impression that being part of the movement is an exciting rush to many who may very well have been the aggressors themselves in the past but received a pass because they are female.