For those of us from God's Country, I thought I'd update you with a few facts about our opponent tomorrow night, the Oregon Ducks, and the state they represent, the Great State of Oregon, a.k.a. Purgatory.
Q. Does it rain there?
A. Yes.
Q. How do you know it's August?
A. The rain stops.
Q. But don't they have Spring?
A. Yes. The rain turns green
Q. How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb, one to hold his umbrella.
Q. What is the state flower?
A. Moss.
Q. What is Oregon's largest city?
A. Portland, Oregon
Q. What is Portland, Oregon's most famous restaurant?
A. Hung Far Low.
Q. Does the state have a symbol?
A. Yes. A Nike shoe.
Q. How many Nike shoes are manufactured in Oregon?
A. Zero.
Q. Does Oregon have a macho male symbol akin to the Montana image of the Marlboro Man?
A. Yes, Montana's Wayne Tinkle.
Q. Who is the president of the University of Oregon?
A. Phil Knight.
Q. How many Oregon Ducks does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. None. Ducks don't use toilet paper.
Q. What do you call a doctor who graduated from the U. of Oregon Medical School?
A. A quack.
Q. Does Oregon have a motto?
A. Yes. "DON'T CALIFORNICATE OREGON!!!"
Q. How many California athletes are represented on the Oregon and Oregon State football and basketball teams?
A. 85.
Q. Does Oregon have a nickname?
A. Yes. "Gateway to California."
Q. Does it rain there?
A. Yes.
Q. How do you know it's August?
A. The rain stops.
Q. But don't they have Spring?
A. Yes. The rain turns green
Q. How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb, one to hold his umbrella.
Q. What is the state flower?
A. Moss.
Q. What is Oregon's largest city?
A. Portland, Oregon
Q. What is Portland, Oregon's most famous restaurant?
A. Hung Far Low.
Q. Does the state have a symbol?
A. Yes. A Nike shoe.
Q. How many Nike shoes are manufactured in Oregon?
A. Zero.
Q. Does Oregon have a macho male symbol akin to the Montana image of the Marlboro Man?
A. Yes, Montana's Wayne Tinkle.
Q. Who is the president of the University of Oregon?
A. Phil Knight.
Q. How many Oregon Ducks does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. None. Ducks don't use toilet paper.
Q. What do you call a doctor who graduated from the U. of Oregon Medical School?
A. A quack.
Q. Does Oregon have a motto?
A. Yes. "DON'T CALIFORNICATE OREGON!!!"
Q. How many California athletes are represented on the Oregon and Oregon State football and basketball teams?
A. 85.
Q. Does Oregon have a nickname?
A. Yes. "Gateway to California."
