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Hints/tips for hosting UNDSU fans next weekend?

AllWeatherFan

AllWeatherFan

Well-known member
DONOR
Hey NoDaks,

Some of us will be hosting some of you next weekend for the big game. I mean, it would be bigger if more of you could have gotten tickets. But still, it will be huge.

But for the lucky ones who are coming, can you help us out by letting us know what we should get at Costco this week? Also, is there a place that sells larger portions than Costco? Any tips?

Also, what would NoDaks like to do next weekend? Between meals, I mean.

Please help us show you a good time by giving us some ideas on hosting North Dakotites!
 
I have some experience hosting NoDaks. There are a few things everyone needs to know that aren't that obvious.

1. While most adults prefer the savory or spicy taste on game day food, NoDak adults much prefer the sweet. Be it BBQ sauce or a breakfast sando, make sure you dump some sugar in it. These fuckers don't mess around. They also like hard candy. It might be the only time you see someone not named "Uncle Walt" eat hard candy, so enjoy.

2. Think of the last mixed drink your wife ordered and said was "yummy." It was probably a watermelon vodka simple syrup thing. Yeah, that thing? That thing that gave you a headache when you simply looked at it? Grown men from NoDak will drink that thing. No shit. Remember when you thought men drank beer or whiskey? Yeah, that isn't the case with them. Just be thankful they haven't discovered pinot gris.

3. NoDaks will assume that you know what is going on in NoDak. For instance, a NoDak will make a reference to what happened at a city council meeting in Grand Forks, and how park manager Sadlowski is "way off his rocker." There is, of course, no reason for you to know about any of that at all, but a NoDak will think that you and the rest of America not only know, but also care. Just be ready for that shit.

4. Don't plan anything physical whilst hosting a NoDak. They think physical activity is for kids. If you suggest a touch football game or a hike to the M, it will be met with great resistance/reluctance/inability.

5. Don't go crazy on dining venues. Outback Steakhouse is a thrill for them.

6. Don't dare give them any craft or home brew. The complexity is lost on them, and you'll just end up wasting your stock. They are like the dude who gets a glass of Macallan 30 neat, and then shoots it. See #2.

7. No excuses; play like a champion.
 
Great posts, men!

I think safety always has to be a priority and I'm requesting that during the weekend my fellow Griz Fans carry with them portable defibrillators at all times. Also please remember your spare battery packs. Given the influx of overweight people, compromised breathing due to elevation and smoke, the excitement of the game, seeing a mountain or seeing an outdoor stadium, I fully expect to see a few drop. Also please remember the ABCD's of CPR!!

Airway
Breathing
Circulation
Don't spill your drink

Defibrillator_UOMZ.jpg
 
That is a great tip, Ursa. We can't be too careful hosting these guys. I would be remiss if I didn't add that all Montanans should be prepared for man boobs. Mounds and mounds of man boobs. The average NoDak male sports a gentleman's C cup. Keep that in mind when planning activities for the weekend.
 
AllWeatherFan said:
Thank you, gentlemen!

Several questions:

1. Bud Light?
2. Are defibrillators allowed in the stadium?
Click to expand...

1. Bud light? Never.
2. Yes, I usually just stick mine in my snake bag for convenience.

Edit: That should read, Yes, I usually just stick that mother fucker in my mother fucking snake bag for convenience. Sorry!
 
CDAGRIZ said:
That is a great tip, Ursa. We can't be too careful hosting these guys. I would be remiss if I didn't add that all Montanans should be prepared for man boobs. Mounds and mounds of man boobs. The average NoDak male sports a gentleman's C cup. Keep that in mind when planning activities for the weekend.
Click to expand...

Does it still count as "elbow titting" if it's a guy? We need a ruling here.
 
Ursa Major said:
CDAGRIZ said:
That is a great tip, Ursa. We can't be too careful hosting these guys. I would be remiss if I didn't add that all Montanans should be prepared for man boobs. Mounds and mounds of man boobs. The average NoDak male sports a gentleman's C cup. Keep that in mind when planning activities for the weekend.
Click to expand...

Does it still count as "elbow titting" if it's a guy? We need a ruling here.
Click to expand...

Yes.

"A tit is a tit."

-Margaret Thatcher
 
CDAGRIZ said:
Ursa Major said:
CDAGRIZ said:
That is a great tip, Ursa. We can't be too careful hosting these guys. I would be remiss if I didn't add that all Montanans should be prepared for man boobs. Mounds and mounds of man boobs. The average NoDak male sports a gentleman's C cup. Keep that in mind when planning activities for the weekend.
Click to expand...

Does it still count as "elbow titting" if it's a guy? We need a ruling here.
Click to expand...

Yes.

"A tit is a tit."

-Margaret Thatcher
Click to expand...
Hahaha!
 
Bump. C'mon, fellas. There have to be some more tips/hints. We are getting near game day here. We need to make sure each and every T-Buff fan has a great time and waddles home with smile on his or her face.
 
CDAGRIZ said:
That is a great tip, Ursa. We can't be too careful hosting these guys. I would be remiss if I didn't add that all Montanans should be prepared for man boobs. Mounds and mounds of man boobs. The average NoDak male sports a gentleman's C cup. Keep that in mind when planning activities for the weekend.
Click to expand...

Well I'm scratching bridge jumping off the list then.
 
I'm all for doing anything we can to make our guests feel welcomed. However, I draw the line at this and suggest you do likewise: do NOT hold open the door to any eating establishment for the nodakers. While polite, it will simply leave you sitting at a restaurant which has no food left.

It's just common sense, really.
 
AllWeatherFan said:
Hey NoDaks,

Some of us will be hosting some of you next weekend for the big game. I mean, it would be bigger if more of you could have gotten tickets. But still, it will be huge.

But for the lucky ones who are coming, can you help us out by letting us know what we should get at Costco this week? Also, is there a place that sells larger portions than Costco? Any tips?

Also, what would NoDaks like to do next weekend? Between meals, I mean.

Please help us show you a good time by giving us some ideas on hosting North Dakotites!
Click to expand...

AWF,
I went to the game last year in Fargo. These guys actually have IV guernseys rolling by their sides with smoked Brats with maple syrup covering them. When these beasts eat it's like a war zone with flying food shrapnel. The spittle spewing from their mouth as they talk, makes even a seasoned maggot gag. The wafting odor of sweaty butt crack and cheese curds is not for the faint of heart. These bastards are hideous. Their women's ankles are the same size as their calves and that's very large. This will be a disgusting display of human behavior boys!
 
Ursa Major said:
Great posts, men!

I think safety always has to be a priority and I'm requesting that during the weekend my fellow Griz Fans carry with them portable defibrillators at all times. Also please remember your spare battery packs. Given the influx of overweight people, compromised breathing due to elevation and smoke, the excitement of the game, seeing a mountain or seeing an outdoor stadium, I fully expect to see a few drop. Also please remember the ABCD's of CPR!!

Airway
Breathing
Circulation
Don't spill your drink

Defibrillator_UOMZ.jpg
Click to expand...

Literary gold. POTY nominee anyone?
 
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