UTAH JAZZ: What does Utah have to do with Jazz? Jazz is truly a black art form—full thanks to Cain’s descendants. Yet up until a few years ago, the Mormon Church did not tolerate black people. Give “Jazz” back to New Orleans. Let Utah be the “Seagulls.”
LOS ANGELES LAKERS: Oh, sure, Los Angeles has lakes—most of them man-made or a good drive from the City Center. But not like Minneapolis, the original namesake of this franchise. Los Angeles has traffic and freeways. A better nickname: “The Smog.”
HELENA CRIMSON BENGALS: Never understood this nickname. The Bengal is a medium to large domestic cat, not the huge ferocious tiger that hung on the wall at one end of our basketball court. And how did “Crimson” fit in anyway? The right nickname was right there all along, after the name of our annual parade and stadium: “The Vigilantes.” Nice going East Helena!
C.M. RUSSELL RUSTLERS: Like the Vigilantes, the Rustlers were law-breakers. Good! But given the relationship Montana has had to The Zodiac, Wayne Nance, Edmund Kemper, the Unabomber and John Wayne Gacy, this school should have gone all out: “The Serial Killers.”
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS: Nee Philadelphia Warriors. But what place do Warriors have in the idyllic Golden State ? And now that the franchise has moved across the Bay, there’s talk they’ll soon re-name the franchise after San Francisco. How about “The Quiche?” (No, no…not THAT nickname!)
MONTANA STATE BOBCATS: Given all the construction going on in Bozeman, I have no problem with this nickname.
MONTANA GRIZZLIES: We’re good!
LOS ANGELES LAKERS: Oh, sure, Los Angeles has lakes—most of them man-made or a good drive from the City Center. But not like Minneapolis, the original namesake of this franchise. Los Angeles has traffic and freeways. A better nickname: “The Smog.”
HELENA CRIMSON BENGALS: Never understood this nickname. The Bengal is a medium to large domestic cat, not the huge ferocious tiger that hung on the wall at one end of our basketball court. And how did “Crimson” fit in anyway? The right nickname was right there all along, after the name of our annual parade and stadium: “The Vigilantes.” Nice going East Helena!
C.M. RUSSELL RUSTLERS: Like the Vigilantes, the Rustlers were law-breakers. Good! But given the relationship Montana has had to The Zodiac, Wayne Nance, Edmund Kemper, the Unabomber and John Wayne Gacy, this school should have gone all out: “The Serial Killers.”
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS: Nee Philadelphia Warriors. But what place do Warriors have in the idyllic Golden State ? And now that the franchise has moved across the Bay, there’s talk they’ll soon re-name the franchise after San Francisco. How about “The Quiche?” (No, no…not THAT nickname!)
MONTANA STATE BOBCATS: Given all the construction going on in Bozeman, I have no problem with this nickname.
MONTANA GRIZZLIES: We’re good!