I needed last week off from ranting about the slugs that inhabit this conference. Turns out Bitter Ol’ Monte ain’t as young as he used to be and fighting the flu that’s associated with being a cantankerous omnivore can take a while to recover from. You see, kids, this bitterness doesn’t just happen over night. It happens night after night after night for several nights until I get to the state where I start lettin’ people know my thoughts. But what the hell do I know, I never played the game.

I could start this off by picking on Montana State but it looks like they’ve already been beaten down enough in the last two weeks.

Can you guys just imagine what Beau Baldwin is going to do to that Montana State defense? My goodness, by the time Eastern is done with them that turf in Bozeman is going to look like the turf in Cheney.

A lot of people I know complain about games at Eastern Washington being unwatchable because of that turf. The folks in Bozeman have been saying that all year and their turf isn’t even red!

Jeff Choate said this week that he better start winning some football games or else he won’t be around to see the Big Sky go to a nine game conference schedule. Jeff, if you don’t get your team in order I’m not so sure you’re going to be around when Idaho comes back and kicks your ass.

You know, I’m still laughing about the Bobcats losing to Sacramento State. The San Francisco Giants bullpen saw that game and were like, “Wow, that’s blowing it!”

That Bobcat quarterback, he might turn into something, but for a guy who’s not even old enough to buy his own Playboy adult life is going to be real tough when he realizes that it’s all down hill from here.

In other news, UC-Davis won a game.  No joke, it really happened.

In other news, Sacramento State did not win a game. In fact, their plane never arrived in Missoula for the game. From my vantage point, which is a pretty good one, it appeared that instead of the football team on the field they got some of those motorized tackling dummies and just controlled them remotely.

Man, I tell you what. The tackling dummy that wore the quarterback jersey had the best expression painted on his face.

sacqb *

It was great, his face never changed every time Josh Buss hit him! We’d be yelling, “Bro, Buss gon’ get you!” and he always had that “ugh, I’m sleeping” look on his face.

I tell you, the game is much safer when teams like Sacramento State and Mississippi Valley send tackling dummies instead of actual players. Really cuts down on injuries.

Makes me wonder how UC-Davis mastered using the dummies so well to beat Northern Colorado. Didn’t think they taught technology classes at a school dedicated to shoveling cow poop.

Direct Message to Mike Kramer: Hey Mike, in case you’re wondering we’re going to be looking for some cheerleaders next year that possess some upper body strength, so

* Image above stolen from Shaun Rainey’s Twitter account, follow him. He’s a nice fellow.

 

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