A Grizzly fan, a Bobcat fan and an Idaho fan were in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze.
All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death.
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said: “It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”
The Bobcat fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, “Please tie a pillow to my back, it will save my fair hide from the whip.”
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Bobcat fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Idaho fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said: “All Right! Please fix TWO pillows on my back.”
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Vandal fan out crying like a little girl.
The Grizzly fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate, and was most certainly responsible for getting the whiskey into the country in the first place.
However, before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: “You support the greatest team in the world, your alumni have some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world, and your tailgate parties are the best in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thanks, your most royal highness,” the Grizzly fan replies. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me NOT twenty lashes, but instead I would like ONE HUNDRED lashes.”
“Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave” the Sheik says with an admiring look. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?” the Sheik asks.
“Tie the Bobcat fan to my back.”