Three Big Sky football fans were out hiking in the woods. One Portland State Viking fan. One University of Montana Grizzly fan. And one Montana State University Bobcat fan. Each was wearing their favorite team stocking cap. As they began their hike through the woods to the mountain trail, they came across the dead body of a nude woman. The U of M fan grabbed the cell phone and immediately called the local authorities. On short notice, the police officer was dispatched to the scene. The guys looked at the nude woman and back at each other, and each began to feel a twinge of guilt and sadness for the recently deceased. Being gentlemen at heart, each removed their caps to cover the corpse and provide the scene some dignity. The Viking fan removed his hat and placed it over the woman’s left breast. The Grizzly fan removed his hat and placed it over the young woman’s right breast. The Bobcat man, of course, removed his stocking cap and place it over the woman’s crotch.

The police officer arrived and confirmed a few details with the men. He then took out his notepad and proceeded to the dead body. The officer leaned down, lifted the PSU hat, quickly examined the left breast and replace the hat. He then moved to the other side of the corpse and repeated the procedure. He lifted the Grizzly cap, examined the breast, and then replaced the cap. Finally, he moved down, removed the Bobcat cap from the crotch, examined the area, and replaced the cap. He started to take down some notes, stopped, leaned down once again and removed the Bobcat cap and again examined the area. He finally replaced the cap and again started to take notes. The men, each still anxious from the uneasy situation, looked at each other, and the Grizzly fan finally spoke up and said, ‘Something the matter, officer?’ The police muttered, ‘Damnest thing. Usually when I looked under a Bobcat cap, I find an asshole.’

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